Terra: The New Era
by JkayChase
Summary: A cloaked figure stepped into the cave's cavern. "Who are you?" The trapped girl's soul asked from within. The cloaked figure smiled, "Someone who's going to give you a second chance. The condition is that you give up your powers. What's your answer?"
1. Awakening

A cloaked figure stepped into the cave's cavern. The figure strode up quickly to the statue in the center, tall and proud despite the strange humps on his back under his cloak.. A hand was carefully placed against it, feeling for it. There. A steady, yet faint, pulse still remained.

"Poor Terra.. Lost and plundered, hated and loved. Are you awake?" A male's voice floated out to the statue, reaching for the frozen girl's soul. The cloaked person frowned under his hood. The girl had quite a lot of sorrow tearing at her soul. The cloaked figure reached deeper with his mind., and was nearly overtaken.

_**I'm such a failure. I betrayed them. Especially him**_... a flash of a green boy named Beast Boy flashed across Terra's trapped soul and mind,. Each of her friends, and memories of her emotions. Anger, guilt. Numbness. Love. Thoughts of hers intruded on each other, so broken hearted was the soul underneath.

_**And my sister. Brook. My family.**_ Her mind choked up, and the soul trembled so violently the figure thought it would crack. Flashes of memories. Her family and her had been close, especially her little sister and her. The soul continued to tremble violently, increasing as each of the painful memories were replayed, over and over again. The cloaked figure tilted his head, trying to keep his and the girl's emotions separate as not to start crying her tears. He would have to be strong to do this.

"Terra."

_**I can't believe it. Everyone's gone. I let everyone down.**_

The cloaked figure reached deeper, and spoke louder both audibly and with his mind, so as to be heard.

"Terra. Wake up."

The thoughts of the girl swirled around his aura, and he had to try to keep from choking from all the negative energy.

"TERRA."

Silence.

_**Am I dead? I probably deserve it. I deserve ev-**_

"No, Terra, you are not dead. You trapped yourself to save your friends. You're a hero."

Terra snorted mentally.

_**Hero? Ha. Right. After what-**_

"Don't. Argue." The cloaked figure growled, reaching out and pushing the negativity away. Terra's thoughts paused.

_**Who are you?**_

The cloaked figure smiled, sealing his thoughts before the girl could probe within them out of curiosity.

"Someone who's going to give you a second chance. Your younger sister survived the earthquake, and waits for you within a family that is willing to take you.. "

Silence. Feelings of relief, Shock. Disbelief.

"Yes, I'm telling the truth. You shall be freed, and placed with them on the conditions your earth controlling powers be removed until further notice. What is your answer?"

Pause.

_**Yes.**_


	2. The Beginning

_Prolugue_

"Tara?"

I looked up from my laptop. Brook stood there in her pajamas, holding her teddy bear (which was ironically and uncreatively named Berry), and staring at me with blue eyes that mirrored mine.

"Yea?"

"Can I come in?" she asked, peeking around nervously. It was late-10:30 to be exact, and mom and dad wouldn't like it if they caught her.

"Sure. Are you sleeping in here for the night again?"

Brook nodded, and walked in, taking her place at my side by the foot of my bed. Her eight year old eyes peered over my shoulder, curiously looking at the screen.

"Whatcha doing?' she asked as I pressed the button that would start up my game of yahtzee again.

"According to mom and dad, a report."

She nodded, as if she expected no less.

"So what brings you to my room tonight? Did the mansion's mummy come out again?" I asked.

"No!" her defensive cry brought a smile to my lips. But her eyes darted towards the hallway. I understood. The house was eerily quiet-the quiet before a storm. Usually mom and dad would be arguing-money had gotten a little tight and with the mansion and the rest of our property, and food for the dogs, cats, horses, and the parrot, they were a little overwhelmed.

But tonight they weren't fighting. Tonight, dad was out late. For the first time ever.

"Hey, do you think you can make this float?" Brook asked, her expression eager. In her outstretched palm sat a small pebble. I squirmed uncomfortably.

"You know what mom says about that."

"But they're not around. Come on-it's cool."

My lips tight, I turned back to the laptop. Brook's disappointed sigh reached my ears, and I returned back to my game. Within a few minutes, I could feel her boredom. I ignored it.

"Go to sleep." I hissed.

"You're not. You haven't even changed for bed yet," She pointed out.

The front door opened and slammed shut. Numb adrenaline swept through me, warning me. A robber? I closed the laptop.

"Brook, under the bed." I hissed, getting up.

"What? Why-

Too loud. The footsteps were coming towards the staircase.

"Now! Just do it, don't come out until I say so."

The note of urgency in my voice had her scurrying under my queen sized bed. I turned, and with quick, quiet bounds I shoved myself in my closet, behind the long skirted formals. With breath held, I waited. The person who came into view had familiar curly grey hair-dad? I let out my breath in relief, and started to come out, but a glint stopped me. In his hand-a gun? Closing my eyes, I focused and felt the pebble lift in the air and float in Brook's way, as a sign to stop. He paused at my doorway, his grey eyes chillingly empty. He scanned the room, then turned and headed towards the third staircase that headed toward his and mom's room. Numb disbelief worked its way into me, threatening to paralyze me. I had to get Brook out, NOW.

"Brook, come." I whispered shakily. A soft shuffling, and she was by my side. I turned and pulled a latch, which smoothly slid out into an extra tack locker. We wouldn't have time to saddle. I grabbed two rope halters and the smooth leads I liked. Brook's eyes were wild and frightened as I handed the blue halter to her.

"Let's go." A single command was uttered from my mouth, as I grabbed her hand with cold fingers and pulled her out of the closet and towards my balcony. I slid the glass doors open as softly as I could, and pushed Brook through first.

"We're on the third floor." Brook whispered shakily. "You don't think-

I shushed her, pushing the balcony door shut. The cold night air greeted me. The horses were dark shapes barely visible through this dark. An explosive noise shook the mansion. We both jumped, and adrenaline slammed into me. The lawn ripped apart below us, and a large packed piece of grass topped dirt floated up to us.

I grabbed Brook, swung my leg over the balcony's railing, and dropped, covering my hand over Brook's mouth in case she screamed. Landed with a soft thud on the chunk of ground.

"Tara! Where are you?" I heard his voice over the loudspeakers. It sounded hoarse with an odd note to it-not dad. Not even when he was angry. We had to get out of here. The piece of dirt jerked and wobbled to the barn-way too fast. Brook nearly fell-I grabbed her. The earth platform slammed into the ground beside the barn. With shaking limbs I got up. Adrenaline ironically, robbed me of strength. Working through my fear, I pushed Brook into the barn and closed the door behind us-locked it, actually. More gunshots, and a howl from one of the dogs. My stomach twisted as grief started to take hold. Brook held my hand, sniffling audibly.

"Red?"

A generous nicker greeted me from his normal stall. Brook's pony was stark white and very visible in the darkness, so no problem finding her. More fumbling to the right, I found our helmets.

"Brook, I want you to halter Spike, tie the lead around as reins, open the back of his stall, get on, and gallop away as fast as you can. Into the woods behind us. Red and I will be right behind you, ok?" I tried to keep my voice steady as I buckled her helmet onto her head. Through the sniffling, she nodded, and headed towards Spike's stall.

I found Red's stall quickly and opened the latch. His warm breath soothed me a little, as I rudely shoved the halter onto him. Brook swung open the back door of Spike's stall. I heard her pause as I tied Red's halter onto him.

"Don't wait for me-go!"

She did, and in a few moments I heard Spike slam his hooves into the ground in a surge of speed out the door. I swung open Red's back door, and grabbed his mane. Firmly, I swung my weight onto his back. Softly, I apologized, and tensed my body and thumped his sides with my heels. He jumped into a gallop, and I bent low to avoid hitting my head on the doorway. A white, spotted lump shone in the darkness. My stomach twisted and my head filled with grief as we passed-it was Bee, and her head was covered in what I could only guess was blood.


	3. The Decision

Slowly, I became aware of the fact that I was awake. Soft cotton padding underneath me sank around my form, while my head rested on what felt like a pillow, still cool. I opened my eyes and was met with the sight of a comfortingly dark room, a blank T.V screen in my immediate vision. I glanced to my right, and saw a rather large square window with green curtains drawn firmly over it. I sat up to open the curtain, and a shooting pain up my spine sent me back into bed.

_The hell?_

My eyes were drawn to my arms. They were a sickly, pale color, and thinner than I remembered. Wide awake now, I was aware that every single part of my body was throbbing in a dull, aching sort of way. I felt as drained as if I had run a marathon in a hot desert-which believe me, I have. The only difference was that I was cold, not hot. A door opened on my left, and in walked a familiar blonde haired girl. She wasn't facing me yet, and was drinking water from a clear glass.

"Brook?"

The glass slipped from her fingers, and hit the wooden floorboards with a defined crash. Blue eyes turned to me, wide. She made a small squeak, and then was squeezing me in a hug that rivaled Star's. She pulled back, and stared.

"You're…you're awake."

"Well stated." I replied dryly. I sat up, more carefully this time, and leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"So…what happened? Where am I?"

Brook cast her eyes down.

"You were in a coma for three weeks. It took that long for George and Connie to get the paperwork together, but-

"Paperwork?"

Brook looked up at me, excitement lighting her expression but wariness in her eyes.

"Yea. You were adopted. Just like me."

I blinked as the fact settled into my mind. Adopted? A part of me starting weighing the options and wondering just how solid that window was-I stopped myself as I realized I was planning on escaping and running back to the Titans' tower. No, that option would forever be closed to me after my stupid, stupid betrayal. That was one of the reasons I had chosen to not only stay, but also die underground in the final battle with Slade. I could never go back to the Titans, nor would I be able to try to live a normal life. I would forever be dressed as the criminal-as soon as I would try to show my face in public cops would have been after me like worker bees. I could have done it-used the ground to cover the magma instead of forcibly turning everything around me, including myself, into earth. But I had decided it was better to die doing something good rather than live as a criminal. Chivalry that was out of character for me, but it was an intense day.

But this…this could be another chance. Terra had died, but Tara…no, well, according to the public Tara had been shot by her father along with her sister Brook. Not only had I been given a second chance, but now I was being given a third chance to live. I could become a nameless face among the crowds again. The thought brought me both relief and no end of grief. I desperately wanted that dream of being a superhero, and using my powers for good. And even more desperately….I wanted to be a part of the Titans again. I wanted to see Beast Boy, Cy, Star, Robin, and even Raven.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. No, I would take this chance, and I wouldn't ruin it. I would never, ever see the Titans again. I wouldn't go near them. The thought brought up once again feelings of relief and grief. But determination sparked through me. I wouldn't be recognized. I would erase everything Terra was. I would live a third life. And this time, fully. I re-focused, and realized Brook was staring at me, waiting for a response.

"That's great, Brook."


	4. Lost

The last bell rung, clearing signaling the final hour of the school day. Relieved, I put my books and finished assignments into my bag. School was the only thing that sucked. When I was a Titan, school wasn't necessary. I would have been paid handsomely up to my old age, where then the government would pay for my retirement. Heroes were well funded.

I had taken the name Taylor. The name change, thankfully, was accepted without much question. Brook had already explained the situation to our new legal guardians (the fact that we were both legally dead, not that I had been a Titan. I don't think even she knew that.) Brook had changed her public name to Rachel. Though when we both at home, I was still Tara and she was still Brook.

I had settled into my new life pretty easily. The fact that the Johnsons (our new family name) had a few acres where they had a barn, and that Brook had surprisingly insisted on keeping both Spike and Red, helped a lot. I was still myself at home, and was thankfully, riding regularly and spending time with Red, who still greeted me as enthusiastically as he did two years ago. My evenings at home consisted hanging out with the horses and Brook, going riding or just playing with the horses, and then settling down to do homework, computer time or watching tv with the Brook, Connie and George in my relaxed attire.

School, or anything public, however, was a different story. In order to keep up the charade that I was Taylor and in no way related to Terra, I did the opposite of what Terra would. I kept mostly to myself during school hours, intensely studying. I was impeccably groomed, manicured and made up with make-up, whereas Terra or Tara wouldn't give a shit. I read books, which was a Tara trait but not particularly a Terra trait. I feigned being shy, and made it clear that I hated dirt, rodents or bugs of any sort. I opted out of gym, which would have been a give-away. Both Tara and Terra were insanely good at sports, running faster, turning sharper, and jumping higher than the majority of sporty boys. I even got a janitor job (which I hated, but it gave me the extra money I wanted. Evenings and early weekend mornings only of course).

All in all, it was a good life. The only thing I wished would change was that we were situated on the far side of Jump City, which meant that while I lived comfortably hidden away from the Titans (who were on the other side of the city), I was still insanely paranoid when I went to school or did anything public. I knew from experience the Titans traveled the entire city, and I made extra precaution to avoid any bump ins. Any sign of crime, whether it was minor or not, I hid out in whatever place was the most crowded at the time-to blend in. I always, always, checked outside before leaving school, before making the way to my pickup-which the Johnsons' had generously donated for my traveling purposes. It was definitely a Tara kind of truck, big and red. Screamed country girl, which a part of me loved.

It was to this truck that I made my way this afternoon, quickly glancing around for any outrageously loud outfits or green animals. Nope, I was safe. I climbed into the driver's seat and turned the key.

One of the things I had to congratulate myself on was not only avoiding crime scenes (which believe me, when you're used to _doing _something about crime, is hard), but I hadn't once used my powers. Not to fly when I felt sad, or even to just feel the indescribably exhilaration I felt when I moved the earth with only a thought. Not for three, whole, weeks.

The radio turned on, but instead of music, an emergency broadcast was on. I should have changed the station, really I should have. The only emergency broadcasts we get around Jump City were ones involving the Titans and crime.

"-corner of 80th street and Broadway Avenue, there has been a break-in at a jewelry store. The Tita-"

The usual adrenaline, along with the need to _do _something about the crime rushed me with a fierceness I hadn't expected. My hands tightened on the steering wheel. My ears caught a familiar voice as the announcer droned on, and they strained themselves to hear.

"Raven! To your left!"

Good ol' Robin. Unexpected tears pricked my eyes. I pulled out of the school parking lot, and before I knew what I was doing, the truck was headed to the corner of 80th Street. It was stupid, reckless. But for some reason I couldn't stop myself. I had to see-if only a glimpse of them. Just to see how they were doing.

And then suddenly, I was there. I could barely remember cutting around traffic and taking shortcuts to avoid the police's blockage. The vibrations from different things being thrown around shook my red truck, which was somehow managing to hide in the nearby alleyway.

My throats clenched when I heard the familiar voices-up close. So close. A part of me yearned to jump in and help. I saw a green eyed, red haired girl fly by, shooting green energy bolts out of her hands.

_Star…_

The memory of Star's enormous hugs, and her atrocious cooking made me smile. Robin ran by, his stride and movement as always, reminding me of a roadrunner somehow. The tears pricking my eyes threatened to fall. I blinked them back. A crook emerged from the jewelry store's broken window, dressed in black. A thundering sound, and huge, green dinosaur feet blocked the crook's way, right in front of the alleyway.

_Beast Boy…_

Now more than ever, I wanted to jump out of the truck. Join in. Say hello to my old best friend. My arm reached out, almost of its own accord, and I willed the earth beneath me to move.

Nothing. My mind grasped at something that was ungrippable-like water. It was still there…but I couldn't grasp it. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion-I had never had this much trouble to activate my powers-the opposite, actually. They had been too _easy _to activate-that's why I had had so much trouble controlling them. The green dinosaur shrank, and took form into a..wolf.

Suddenly I was back in Slade's uniform, unable to see anything through the fog, except my friends' pitter pattering of feet and the shadow of a wolf…

Fear struck through me. I had to get out of there. They were going to attack me-

No. They didn't even know I was alive anymore. My cheeks were wet with tears as I once again regretted what I had done, and felt the self disgust seep into my being. I hated myself, bitterly.

No-I wasn't Terra anymore. That girl had died. I wasn't Terra. I wasn't Terra. I was Taylor Johnson. An ordinary citizen with a family and a horse.

I drove home as fast as I could. The memories blinded me-Cyborg cooking breakfast with real bacon in complete disregard for BB's vegetarianism. Starfire's hugs. Raven's cynical sense of humor. Robin's..strong steadiness for someone his age. And Beast Boy's..dorkiness. Awkward dorkiness and sense of humor, and the security of knowing they all had my back.

I got out of the truck and went to Red, who was waiting as usual for me by the gate. I ducked through the wooden board fence, the sunlight and chirping of the birds doing nothing for my mood. I ran to the barn, Red following me with a snotty toss of his head. I grabbed the rope halter I had insisted on buying, and slid it onto Red's face hastily, tying the rope around like reins. Led him out of the barn and through the gate, which clicked locked behind me. I scarcely swung myself onto his back before we were off at break-neck pace. Down the long dirt driveway. Straight onto the pathway into the trees. I barely noticed the branches scratching my arms as we flew by.

It seemed no matter how far or fast we ran, ducking branches and jumping over tree roots, I couldn't escape. I couldn't escape Terra, and the guilt and feelings of being betrayed tore me apart on the inside.

We came to a walk in a clearing where the wildflowers bloomed and the sunlight shone through. I hugged Red's shining, soft neck, soaking his mane with my tears.

"I am Taylor. Not Terra. Taylor." I whispered, but it seemed futile.


	5. Confusion, Discovery, and Ribs

The next few weeks, I buried myself in my new life, banishing all thoughts of heroes or the Titans. I fully engaged myself in normal activities once more. Brook knew something was wrong, but Brook being Brook, would wait until I told her what was going on. I rode more often, and spent more time with Brook than I ever had before. I worked harder at my job, and took extra hours. Anything to avoid moments where I would inevitably think about the sense of wrongness that was spreading and growing deeper within me.

I told myself I would move on. That it was time to do so. And that I would be happy as Taylor Johnson. But…unlike when I had moved on in the past-when Terra was on the road, she had met many people on her way, and had to say goodbye to them as well-it didn't sit well with me. It didn't _feel _right. I felt like I was going in one direction, but I should be going in another. I ignored the feeling when it came up, but it was stronger every time I pushed it back.

I even made new friends. Perfectly ordinary friends. Emily and Stevie. Both were nice, but their personalities were…blah. Not to be mean or anything, but they were the stereotype of high school girls-all they talked about was boys, hair, and make-up. While going with my character would mean going into such things enthusiastically, I just couldn't find the interest. So usually my responses consisted of 'Yea' and 'Oh god' and 'mmmhmm' and laughing or gasping at the appropriate time helped too.

I slammed my books shut, loading them into my already overstuffed backpack. George had my truck for the day, so I was stuck walking. I didn't mind it-constantly working outside at home had increased my stamina and strength almost to the point it had been before. So it wouldn't be a tiring walk. What I did mind was the fact that I had to walk around Jump City with nothing to offset my identity should a titan run into me. I didn't even have a binder to throw my hair up. Well, actually, I did have something. My butterfly clip-Brook had been overjoyed when she had found it on me. She had been the one to give it to me, after all. Right before I had caused the earthquake… Anyways, wearing t the butterfly clip was out of the question.

After saying goodbye to Emily and Stevie, I walked cautiously home, making sure to stay on the busiest sidewalks only. I found security in the center of crowds-knowing that it was where I'd be least visible. My breath came out in a great woosh after about twenty minutes of walking. Almost home….

Suddenly a crashing sound, and the crowd around me scattered. I looked up, and adrenaline shot into me as I saw a big white creature romping around. Instinctively I reached for my powers, but again they were hard to grasp.

"Terra?"

My eyes turned, and the shock of seeing my best friend coursed through me. He was looking at me, with a mixture of shock and awe in his expression. My knees shook as I took in the rest of the Titans fighting-in full view, the familiarity of it sent me back into my old hero mindset. I wanted to join them, and catch the bad guy. I wanted to be in the midst of it all, catching things Raven threw to me, grinning as Robin and Cyborg cracked jokes at the villain. But…I had been one of the villians. And was probably still considered one. And so, the moment Beast Boy turned his attention, I bolted for the nearest alleyway.

I fell onto my knees, trying to calm myself. And the only thing that did calm me, it seemed, was to remember that I was no longer Terra. Right now, I was Tara, and my little sister was waiting for me at home. I was Tara. I didn't have my powers anymore-that much was clear. And without her powers, Terra didn't exist. I refused to think of the Titans. I wouldn't. It would only make me sad, and my decision was to move forward, without regret.

I stood and peered around the alleyway. The titans and the white creature was gone. I continued on my way home.

"Tara!" Brook ran to meet me the moment the house came into view. Her bright blue eyes were alight with excitement.

"Brook!" I responded in mock valiancy as she grabbed my hand.

"Why are we so excited?" I asked as I was dragged towards the house.

"Connie and George are making ribs tonight! What kept you? They're almost done! AND we're opening the pool! It's warm enough to finally swim!"

Ribs. My mouth watered.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" This time, it was me dragging Brook through the house to the backyard. Connie greeted us as we came through the sliding glass door.

"Hey there Tara. How was school?" She asked. Brook and I drifted over to the grill hungrily. The aroma of the foiled food had both of us staring hungrily.

"Tara. TARA." Connie's sharp voice brought me momentarily out of my trance.

"Huh? School?"

She sighed, pushing a brunette strand of hair out of her green eyes.

"I swear, you're worse than George. Now quit drooling and go help him with the salad."

"Can we cook the ribs instead?" Brook asked sweetly. Connie's eyes narrowed.

"Nice try. Now go. Go!" she pushed us away towards the outdoor dining table. George was stoically mixing greens and other vegetables together.

"You too, huh?" I asked. George looked at me, his grey eyes completely mournful.

"I just wanted a taste."

Brook leaned closer to him. "It's alright, we'll ambush her."

I gasped in mock horror. "Brook Markov-Johnson! How devious!"

She grinned, quite obviously in a good mood.

"I can hear you all, you know! And I hope you all know if you plot against me you'll have none of the ribs!" Connie called.

"Blasphemy!" George cried, stalking towards Connie.

"Don't you-AHH ! Put me down!"

Her screams were shortly followed by a kaplunk as George dropped her into the pool.

"Quick kids! Gather the loot!"

We did so gladly, grabbing the tongs and shoving the now fully cooked ribs onto a plate.

"Uh-oh. She's out. RUN!" George cried, bolting past us. Connie had indeed emerged from the pool, her green sundress plastered to her thin frame, her matching eyes alight with a playful, mischevious look in them. We ran, heading for the hills, the plate of ribs resting securely in my arms.

The game lasted for a while longer, until everyone was soaking except me, and the plate of ribs had significantly been diminished from people snatching them up on the run. Sadly, I was cornered. All three soaking family members advanced on me, with one intent-to throw me into the pool. I bolted, launching myself nimbly into a tree, reveling in the long lost maneuvers. I climbed to the top, while George threatened to grab an ax, and Brook tried to climb up after me. But she hadn't had the training I had, nor was she flexible enough to twist for the branches in the awkward spots. I laughed, and smugly finished off the plate of ribs. Teasingly, I dropped the empty plate at their feet.

I hadn't been glared at so much since the Titans had attacked me.

The night was brought to a close with an action movie in the living room, filled with popcorn, candy corn, and pop.

a/n: Yes, she did argue that she was taylor in the last chapter, and now she's arguing she's tara. I did that on purpose-it shows her confusion about who she is. Anyways, after that explanation, I hope you guys enjoyed reading the chappie as much as I enjoyed writing it!


	6. Goodbye, Beast Boy

He found me.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

His big green eyes stared at me hopefully.

"I'm sorry. You've got the wrong girl."

I turned and walked away, feeling his eyes stare at the back of my head. Emily and Stevie flanked me, telling him to get lost.

"Come on! Just one slice! I'll get whatever you want!"

I paused. I shouldn't. I really, really shouldn't. But..he sounded so sad. I hated hearing my old best friend with that tone in his voice.

"Maybe one slice."

If nothing else, to convince him that I wasn't who he thought I was. His face lit up, and the next thing I knew, I was being dragged off the school grounds.

"And then we pushed the Brain into the freezing machine!"

I snorted, and a giggle came out. Did he hear that? I looked up. Hope filled his eyes. Damn. I was caught.

"Brain freeze. Funny." I said, trying to put an non-Terra esc vibe to my voice.

"See? I can still make you laugh Terra," Beast Boy said, grinning impishly. He wouldn't have looked happier if it was Christmas. I looked down, balling my hands into fists.

"Why do you keep calling me that?" I asked, bringing my eyes to his, trying to exude sincerity. No such luck.

"Because you are Terra." Beast Boy replied fiercely.

"What makes you so sure I'm her?"

"You look like her, you talk like her. You even laugh like her."

I made a mental note to dye my hair brown and pick up an accent.

"Come on, don't you remember anything?" He pleaded. My stomach twisted, and suddenly I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to hug him and tell him that I remembered. I wanted to tell him everything that's been going on since I woke up. But…I looked away. This couldn't go on.

"I just remember high school."

His pointed ears drooped.

The waiter came up, and dropped a pizza in front of us.

"Extra cheese with anchovies. Just the way you like it." Beast Boy said with a grin.

I couldn't find the strength to return it.

"I don't like anchovies. I'm allergic." I lied, standing up. Beast Boy's eyes widened.

"Wait! Don't go! We'll get whatever you want! Please?"

I was just…I couldn't.

"I have to go to the computer lab and do homework before it gets dark," I responded, grabbing my backpack. It was a lie-I had done all my homework during class. Taking a glance at him, my stomach knotted. His eyes were pleading.

"There's a computer at the tower! You'll get done in half the time!"

No. No, no, no.

"Fine. But I have to be home by dark."

It was a shock, being back in the tower. Memories played in the back of my mind, while a sense of home-ness settled into me that hadn't been there in a while. More than anything, I wanted to stay. But, I had to feign ignorance.

"Wow! Cool!"

"You used to live here, remember?" Beast Boy's voice was hopeful, and I realized he was now on a tirade to help me remember.

"I think I would remember living in a place like this." I said, looking around. Beast Boy was silent for a moment. Then a familiar gloved hand slipped into mine.

"Come on! I'll show you to your room!"

…..Great….

I was dragged down the hallway as Beast Boy excitedly entered the code for my room. 21209 if I remembered correctly. The mechanical doors slid open with a familiar whoosh.

"We made this room just for you." He said excitedly. I walked into my old room, guilt seeping in as I remembered sending all the codes and information about the Titans to Slade. I looked around, pretending not to have been here before. The room really screamed Terra.

"Stars. Because you like to sleep outside." Beast Boy said proudly.

"I don't like the outdoors. Too many bugs." I insisted. But he wasn't convinced yet.

I walked over to the tabletop where I used to use my laptop. A familiar heart shaped box rested on top of it. My hands moved of their own accord, opening it to the familiar mirror.

"Remember? I made that for you." Beast Boy's voice had a soft tone to it, and I had to keep my face straight as I remembered the unconventional way he had given it to me. I closed it.

"I gotta go home." I said firmly, turning around. And really, I did. I had to fight once again to keep my face unemotional as he frowned, looking like a kicked puppy. Then he brightened.

"Wait! There's one more thing I want to show you."

This time I was led outside the tower, to the rocky part of island. My stomach clenched, knowing what he was about to do.

"Don't you remember anything?" He asked again.

"I told you, you've got the wrong girl." I repeated. His face fell, and then brightened.

"Wait! You could move the earth!" He exclaimed, throwing a handful of mud at me. Instinctively I reached for the mud, trying to stop it. But the powers evaded my grasp, and my face was splattered. I felt like crying. But instead, I glared at him, turning my back and stalking away, trying to be convincing. He ran after me.

"Look I'm sorry-you have to remember!"

Tears pricked the back of my eyes. I wanted to, I really did. I wanted to go back to the way things were. But I had already ruined it. I swallowed and pushed back the tears.

"Look, I gotta get home. It's already dark."

"But-

"Goodbye, Beast Boy." I said, sounding a lot firmer than I felt. My legs wanted to run. No, more than that. I wanted to rip a piece of the earth up and fly away.

But my shaking fingers found the button, and my feet stepped onto the road that snapped up from the water as a way to Jump City.

He didn't follow me.

I found my truck in the school parking lot still, and turned the engine on. Tears fell freely now, as I checked my cell phone for messages. Two-both from Brook.

_Hey, where are you? Been waiting for you at home._

I texted back.

_Sorry. I had extra schoolwork to do. Sorry I didn't answer earlier. On my way home now._

The lights turned on as I pulled out, letting out big, open sobs. I refused to let myself get into a helplessly depressed train of thought, but that didn't stop the emotions. I wanted to go back. I wanted to be a Teen Titan again. I wanted to go _home. _ Anger at myself bit into me. I should never have said yes to spending the day with Beast Boy. The only good that came out of it was that now, hopefully, he would leave me alone. Bigger tears fell, faster as I left Jump City and drove down the empty highway.

I cried for the loss of Beast Boy, Cyborg, Starfire, Robin and Raven. I cried for the loss of my dream of becoming a superhero. I cried for the loss of my powers, which had been a big part of who I was. I cried out of confusion, not knowing who exactly the person I was now was. I cried out of guilt, and I cried out of self pity. I suddenly felt chained. Chained to the ground, chained to the world of normalcy where I knew I didn't belong. Most of all, I cried for Terra.

I pulled into the driveway, turning the truck off and pulling my knees to my chest. I stayed like that for a while, and just cried. I let everything I'd been ignoring and shoving to the back of my head out. It was a long while, but eventually the tears quit coming and the emotions lessened. I glanced at the clock glowing in front of me. 12:39am.

I took my backpack and headed to the barn, ducking under the wooden fence line. My fingers fumbled right inside the doorway until I found the switch. A familiar nicker greeted me, and I headed to the first stall on the right.

"Tara." A whisper reached out through the quiet of the night.

I looked up, but there was only Red. I grabbed a brush out of the blue grooming box outside his stall. Sliding the latch open, I stepped inside, and was greeted with a warm muzzle sniffing my face. I cracked a smile.

"Hey there. How's my boy doing?" I asked, scratching his neck affectionately. He stretched his head and neck out, lip quivering from being scratched in the good spot. I giggled and kissed his smoothly furred neck.

"Didja miss me?"

My horse snorted. An odd sensation tickled that back of my brain, but I brushed it off.

I spent an hour grooming him to perfection, and then somehow managed to fall asleep.

"Terra! Terra! I have to talk to you!"

Unbelievably, Beast Boy was waiting for me as I entered the school grounds, backpack in hand. My eyes narrowed.

"Go away."

His ears drooped just the tiniest bit, but he ran to catch up with me.

"Look, I'm sorry I threw mud in your face! I was just trying to help-

"Go away." I stalked away from him, conjuring up anger.

For several minutes he talked to me before realizing I was ignoring him. He waved his hands in my face and called me by my old name.

"I have to go to class. Go home Beast Boy." I snapped as I reached the doorway. His eyes narrowed and he set his jaw.

"No. I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

For the entire day, he followed me everywhere. When he realized I wasn't going to talk to him, he dropped into silence, but kept following me. Before last period, he spoke up again.

"Terra! We have to talk!" He began again, his voice now irritated. I turned, my anger roaring dangerously. If I had still had my powers, the entire building would have been demolished.

"Stop calling me that!" I snapped.

"Why Terra? It's your name!" He snapped back.

"You can't keep following me." I snarled.

"Why not?" He growled, folding his arms like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

"It's the _girl's _dressing room!" I pointed out. Instantly he deflated, and I was left alone to change for culinary arts.

Even after school he followed me to the school's library. I had been too distracted to finish my homework during class. I deftly and decisively put a stack of books between us. Within an hour I heard snoring. Annoyed, I tried once again to focus. The bell rang, and he yelped as he was awoken roughly. Many people shushed him, including me. His eyes narrowed.

"Aren't you going to talk to me?" He growled.

"Shh! You're going to get me in trouble! Go outside!" I hissed as the librarian looked at me disapprovingly.

"Not unless you come with me." He insisted. Out of the corner of my eye, the librarian snapped her ruler across the flat of her palm, her eyes glaring at us. Angrily, I grabbed my books and my backpack and stalked out of the library.

Resigned, I hugged my books to my chest, looking at the floor.

"Okay, you have two minutes."

"You might not remember who you are Terra, but I do. You're a Teen Titan!"

"You're wrong." I said, letting a hint of sadness touch my voice.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I asked.

"Why can't things just go back to the way they were?" Beast Boy pleaded.

"Things were never the way you remember." I said truthfully.

His T-Com rang.

"Robin to Beast Boy-We need you!"

Beast Boy looked at me, his eyes begging.

"Come with me."

I took a step back.

"No, Beast Boy. You're the Teen Titan. You go." My throat clenched, and I found myself unable to look him in the eye. A pause, and then some shuffling. A T-Com was put into my field of vision.

"Take it. In case you need me."

I shook my head. "I don't need it." I said, feeling the truth in those words. Glancing up, I saw the slack in his face. He was almost there. He just needed a push.

"Things change, Beast Boy. The girl you want me to be is just a memory." I said, backing away from his mournful eyes. Something inside of me broke.

I drifted into the crowd willingly, walking numbly away from Beast Boy. I couldn't think. All I could do was feel the sadness that pricked my eyes and mind. I knew for sure, that this would be the last time we ever spoke.


	7. The Unthinkable

The Titans returned to the Tower, unfortunately empty handed. Cyborg headed straight for the couch, letting out a yawn, stretching.

"Hey BB, you up for some racers?"

"No thanks. Maybe later. I'm just going to go to bed." Beast Boy replied, sulking off to the Titan's corridors. Robin watched his team-mate leave with calculating eyes.

"Is it just me, or does friend Beast Boy have the so called Blues." Starfire asked, her worried green eyes following her friend's exit.

"The boy did say he saw Terra. Maybe he went back and found out it wasn't her after all." Cy replied.

"Uh, guys?" Raven garnered their attention. It her hand was a pale butterfly clip.

Immediately the Titans gathered around her, inspecting the clip.

"Wasn't this on her statue?" Cy asked, taking the clip from Raven and holding it up to the light.

"Yes, it was." Robin replied, his expression under his mask deep in thought.

"Does this mean that perhaps we have misjudged Beast Boy, and that Terra is indeed alive?" Star asked the unspoken question, her voice hopeful.

"Anything's possible." Raven murmured. Robin plucked the clip from Cy's mechanical hands.

"Not only is it possible-this was stone with the rest of her."

All eyes turned to Robin.

"But if it's Terra's clip, what is it doing here?" Cy asked. Silence resounded as the group contemplated the possibility.

"I'm going to look into this. But for now, don't tell Beast Boy." Robin said, closing the discussion and heading to his investigation room.

* * *

The next few days went uninterrupted. However, unfortunately, for the time being, there was no being happy. Thoughts of the Titans and my old life plagued me. And many a time, I regretted my decision. I wondered what it would have been like if I had indeed told Beast Boy that I remembered, and had gone to Titans Tower with him. Would they have accepted me again?

I would love to think so. But in reality, no, they wouldn't have. How could they? And besides, I had Brook, Red, and a family already. There was no way I could become a Titan again, even if I somehow managed to become insanely skilled like Robin.

Thankfully, it was a weekend. I had opted for taking Brook out for the day, which would be a great distraction.

I cranked the radio, turning to one of my favorite stations. Within minutes Nickelback was blasting through the air.

"So what's the plan today sis?" Brook asked.

"Well, I figure we should do something out of the ordinary kid."

Her eyes looked up at me curiously.

"Like?"

I forced a smile.

"There's quite a lot of variety in food around Jump City. I thought we'd go around and do a taste hunt."

Brook blinked, and then sat back.

"Tara, what's wrong?" She asked.

"What? Nothing's wrong, kiddo. Everything-

"Is it about the Titans?"

I froze. Turned back to driving.

"How long have you known?" I asked finally. I was scared of the answer.

"I've been living outside Jump City for a while, Tara," Brook said. Damn. Just what I was afraid of.

"Do you hate me?" I asked. Brook blinked.

"What? Hate? How could I? You're a hero. I'm proud of you!"

"Hero." I snorted. Brook frowned.

"It's true…sure you took a wrong turn, but a lot of heroes do that."

Silence stretched over as we passed the 'Welcome to Jump City' sign.

"Anyways, I don't know why you're doing this to yourself. You should go back to them." Brook said decisively. She had obviously thought about this a lot. But so had I.

"Brook, I just found you after two years of being separated. I have a home now. I have you, Red, and Connie and George. I can't-

"You don't belong here, Terra!" Brook exploded. I looked at her, shocked. For my quiet little sister to explode like that was unlike her, at the very least. To call me by my old hero name…

I steeled myself.

"I do belong here, Brook. I belong with you and the rest of the family."

"Yea, you're right. You do belong with us." She said, deflating my brace instantly.

"But..you're also a hero. You belong with the Titans too."

Silence once again settled over us.

"I don't have my powers anymore, Brook." I said quietly after pulling into one of many of Jump City's Plaza's.

"Yes, you do."

"No, Brook, I don't have them. I already tried to use them. Several times!" I found my voice rising. I regretted it as Brook kept her gaze from me, silent.

"Your hands glow as you sleep. I went one morning to check on you and the rocks we found when we were trail riding were floating."

I blinked. How?...

"Just promise me you'll think about it. You just don't seem…truly happy here." Brook said quietly. I glanced over, and saw tears glistening out of the corners of her blue eyes.

"Hey-hey! No crying allowed." I said gently, switching to driving one handed and using the other to wrap around her shoulders and pull her to me. She said nothing, turning her face into my shoulder and wetting it with tears. Poor Brook. I had once again only been thinking of myself, and not thinking about how torn apart Brook must've been.

"Hey, you know what? I think this calls for a special all you can eat Buffet event." I announced, turning out of the endless circles I had been driving around the plaza while we talked, and heading back into city traffic.

Brook smiled on my shoulder.

* * *

"Attention customers. There is a crime related disturbance outside. Remain calm, and stay inside at this time. We are going into lockdown."

At once, everyone in the restaurant stopped eating and started talking.

Brook paused from eating her fourth plate of spaghetti (the girl loves spaghetti), and looked at me suggestingly.

I firmly scooped another bite of mashed potatoes into my mouth.

"No."

Brook slurped the noodles into her mouth, leaving a bunch of sauce around her mouth.

"Come on. You can do it."

"That's the Teen Titans' job." I replied, turning to my pizza-anchovies with extra cheese. I bit into it and sighed as the food melted into my mouth. Brook pursed her sauce covered lips. I snorted, laughing under my breath. I reached for a napkin.

"Red's not really your color lipstick, Brook." I said, reaching over and wiping the sauce off my little sister's face.

She turned red. Apparently she hadn't been aware of the sauce that was..all over her face.

Something crashed and I heard Robin's unmistakable voice shout something.

"See? The Teen Titans are on it. Now, I'm going for another round of pizza. Want anything? A root beer float?"

Brook shook her head. I pushed my empty plate aside and got up, walking to the food bar.

I had just loaded four pieces of pizza onto my plate when the wall caved in.

A large white creature stomped in, looking around. That's when the screaming started. Everyone leapt from their seats, bolting to the exits in a mad rush. I dropped my plate, shoving myself into the crowd, fighting my way back to where Brook and I had been sitting..

"TARA!"

I looked up as the last of the crowd ran out the door. The white monster had Brook tucked under his shoulder. Her wide blue eyes were frightened.

"Oh, no you don't, ugly." I snapped, grabbing a fork off a table and bolting towards him. The monster turned and ran. And for a big creature, he was fast.

"Let me go!" Brook cried, her voice full of panic as she tried to squirm free. I jumped out of the building, a sickening fear settling into me. The Titans had formed a semi-circle around the creature, who was holding a still kicking Brook. But the monster simply jumped over them, onto a building. Despair snapped into me as I tried to grab a hold of my powers as I ran past the Titans, not caring at the moment if they saw me or not.

I tried, and tried and tried. The power exuded my grasp every time. Cursing, I ducked around buildings as the monster jumped from building to building. I always kept him in sight.

"TARA!"

She couldn't see me.

"Brook I'm right here. I won't let that thing get away with you." I shouted back between breaths.

But I was tiring, and the monster was not. I pushed harder, but my legs slowed despite my efforts. Frustration shot through me, and I reached for my powers, reaching deeper when they exuded my grasp. For just a moment I felt it. I slammed my faintly glowing hands onto the ground. In some kind of miracle, the earth responded. The earth opened up, and rock hands that mirrored my own exploded out, grabbing the monster in mid jump.

The monster's grasp on Brook was jerked loose, and she fell. I ran for her, but she was too far ahead.

Her body gave a sickening crunch as it slammed into the ground from two and a half stories up. Fear numbed me as I came to her un-moving body. Strength was wittled from my limps.

"Brook."

No response from the small, blonde haired girl laying on the ground. Panic started to take hold. I turned her to lift her up, and nearly wretched. The front of her skull had been crushed. Blood poured down her face. But her chest still rose and fell softly-she was alive. I lifted her up and wheeled around on my ankle.

The Titans stood there. Robin's expression was unreadable. Cyborg stood stoically. Beast Boy..well, Beast Boy looked pissed.

"Put her on the ground."

I looked, and to my surprise Raven was beside me. Not knowing what else to do, I listened. Raven's hands became enveloped in black. There was so much…so much blood on my sister's face. I had to look away, sickened and in shock.

Arms wrapped around me tightly.

"Friend Terra, it will be okay."

I hadn't even realized I was crying. Guilt swept through me as Starfire gave me one of her bone-crushing hugs. She stepped back, and her green eyes assessed mine.

"She should be stable for now, but we need to get her back to the Tower as soon as possible." Raven called. Relief swept through me. Brook was stable.

Cy offered me his mechanical hand.

"Come on. Let's get you both back to the Tower."

Not knowing what else to do, I let them lead me back to the T-Car, Brook in tow.


	8. Titans T

I stared numbly, Brook's limp hand wrapped tightly in mine as the machines around us beeped and buzzed. Raven's healing abilities had saved her life-her once crushed skull was now whole, though it was wrapped for added security. But she hadn't woken up yet.

I let go of her hand and brought both hands to cradle my head. The Titans had left us in peace at Robin's command. But I would have a hell of a lot to answer to. Not to mention Beast Boy was pissed that I lied to him again. I didn't blame him. Not to mention I would somehow have to explain this to my adoptive parents. What the hell was I supposed to say? Sorry, Connie, but Brook was nearly killed today because some monster that the last time I remembered was under Slade's command tried to kidnap her. She's alright, she's just in the Teen Titan's emergency medical ward. Oh? Why? Did I forget to mention I used to be a Titan and a wanted criminal? Yea, that would go over well.

And then there was the whole question of why the monster would try to kidnap Brook. The only explanation that I could think of was that Slade wanted revenge, but I had killed him. And I had not only killed him, I had let him burn in lava, and then turned that lava to stone. If he had somehow managed to survive, he would have been trapped in stone as I had been. But I had been freed-how had I been freed? I tried to wrack my brain, but the effort gave me a splitting headache.

The door opened a crack. A shy pair of green eyes peered down at me.

"Umm…friend Terra? Robin wishes to speak with you."

I stood up, stretching my legs awake. Might as well face the storm now.

"I'm coming," I said, stealing a quick glance at Brook's form. Star opened the door, floating in and taking my hand. I was surprised at the contact, but returned the firmness of grip. A nervous feeling squirmed in the pit of my stomach as she led me into the hallway. The usual chitter chatter that normally came from her didn't come, and her eyes looked straight ahead.

"Star…do you hate me?" I asked unfairly. I was afraid of the answer. Of the well deserved answer I knew was to come. Star came to a stop. Silence spread between us as she floated in her purple outfit, and the seconds seemed to continue endlessly.

"Nevermind-

Starfire interrupted my hurried mumbled sentence with a burst of energy that could only be defined as Star's character.

"Do not worry friend Terra-all is forgiven. Many make mistakes, but I believe we should be judged by the people we are now, rather than our past selves. I am correct?"

Relief and disbelief flooded through me as I stared into Star's familiar face.

"And furthermore, I believe that the person you are now has proven to be a Titan. Going after that…creature with a…a…

"Fork?" I supplied, smiling. Some things never changed, and it would seem Star was still learning earth's English language. She nodded, and continued pulling me down the hallway.

"Yes, the so called fork. Protecting your sibling is brave, but tell me, friend Terra-why did you not use your powers sooner?"

I bit my lip, seeing the door ahead that Star was headed to. I expected to be led to Robin's interrogation room, but instead I had been led to the living room. I stopped, averting my eyes and letting my hand drop from hers.

"Star…I can't….I can't use my powers anymore." I mumbled, the statement causing me more grief than I thought it would.

"Nonsense! You have used them earlier, no?"

"Yea, but that…even that was hard."

Star's lips pursed. Then her mouth broke into a grin, her eyes sparking with hope.

"No worries, friend Terra! We will help you learn to use them again!"

"Star-

My protests were unheard as she shushed me energetically as she could only do, and opened the door.

"WELCOME BACK!"

I blinked as the scene set in. The Titans, even Robin, were wearing party hats. Brown and green balloons bombarded the living room, while Nickelback was playing in the background. A banner had been strung up above, stating 'WELCOME HOME TERRA'. They had even brought out their buffet table, which currently had every kind of food imaginable, including a huge cherry-chocalate cake (my favorite) that sat as a centerpiece. The only one that was missing..was BB. My stomach twinged.

"I hope you like takeout, because we had to order nearly everything." Cy said, closing in on me and wrapping me in a bear hug, giving me a noogie.

"We put everything together as best we could on such short notice-we hope you like it." Robin said through his mask. I stared, frozen to the spot, disbelief numbing me. After several uncomfortable moments, Raven spoke.

"So…do you like it?"

I tried to find my voice.

"I don't..I don't understand. How could you guys forgive me, after all I've done to you?"

Cy's grip on my shoulders lessened. There were a few more seconds of silence, before Robin replied.

"Terra, Slade controlled you. And even when he sent you to destroy us, you didn't listen."

"What?" Obviously, I didn't remember.

"Well, when you forced me down into the mud, there was an airhole at the bottom where I could breathe." Raven replied, somehow without any trace whatsoever of resentment.

"And when you pushed me, Star and Beastboy down into that hole there was sand at the bottom for a soft landing." Cy said.

I looked away. I didn't remember doing that, but I remembered everything else. I had truly hated them. And I had meant every single taunt I had thrown.

A hand grasped my shoulder firmly.

"Terra, if you don't believe us, at least believe this." I looked up, and saw Robin holding a tiny computer chip.

"This was found melded into your hairpiece," Robin said, holding up my butterfly clip. I made a snatch for it, but Robin dodged me easily.

"I tested on it and found out the chip had one purpose-to influence a person's brainwaves." Cy's voice said firmly in my ear. I stared numbly at the computer chip. They didn't get it-it had been me. I would have known if someone else was controlling my thoughts.

"Terra, it wasn't you who did all that. It was Slade, controlling you."

Robin's voice held such certainty, with no room for arguments.

"Now come on, have some cake, little rocker!" Cy said, pulling me towards the table.

"What'll it be, cake or cake?" He asked cheerfully.

"Terra, catch!"

I looked up, and by reflex, caught the object thrown to me. I stared at the T-Com in my palm.

"Welcome back," Robin said warmly.

"Wait-I'm a wanted criminal. If I show up with you guys as Terra, you-

"All charges cleared." Robin waved me off.

"Huh?"

"The microchip was enough evidence to clear you of all charges. Your record's clean."

I stared at the T-Com, not knowing what exactly to say. A piece of chocolate cake was shoved into my mouth.

"Eat girl! Am I seriously going to have to feed you?" Cy said teasingly.

Maybe just for the moment, I could let go. Just for a moment. I gripped the fork that had been shoved into my mouth with my teeth, and pulled it out of Cy's grasp.

"Let's get this party started!" I said with a wry grin through the fork, which was returned by four.

"Yes, friend Terra, let's do the party starting!" Star cried oddly, floating over to the salad bar and picking up a bowl of goop. I grinned-I had missed Star's cooking.

"Oh, no. You are not feeding her your goop before I get out my baby back ribs!" Cy, of course. I put a hand to my mouth to stifle the giggling that unexpectedly rose.

"Norfga is not the 'goop'! It is a traditional Tamaranian-

The fork fell from my mouth as I doubled over in laughter. Four pairs of eyes turned to me.

"You alright?" Raven asked as I tried to find the air to stop laughing.

"Yea, I'm good. Where's the plates?" I asked, making a mental note to save some for Brook.

"They're over here. Help yourself." Robin said, pointing to a spot beside him.

I grinned, dashing over and grabbing a plate.


End file.
